Senin, 30 Agustus 2010

[G704.Ebook] Ebook Download History of Far Eastern Art, A, by Sherman E. Lee

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History of Far Eastern Art, A, by Sherman E. Lee

History of Far Eastern Art, A

  • Published on: 1964
  • Binding: Hardcover

Most helpful customer reviews

74 of 74 people found the following review helpful.
A comprehensive, flawed survey of the subject
By Joe the Critic
I'm reading this book for an Asian Art class, and I find it has both significant strengths and significant weaknesses.
Its major strength is the integrated approach: Sherman Lee organizes the book chronologically and thematically, rather than geographically. Instead of writing a section on Chinese art and a section on Indian art, Lee organizes his material by stage of development (Stone Age pottery) or by cultural movement (Buddhism), for example tracing the development of Buddhist styles in India, the adoption of those styles in China, Japan, and S.E. Asia, and the eventual synthesis of the Indian influences into local styles incorporating indigenous themes. Lee writes eloquently and even passionately about his subject, letting us know which cultures, styles, and artworks he admires. He covers a vast amount of cultures and time periods, easily enough material for dozens of books.
The book does have significant flaws, however. Most frustrating are the black and white photos (presumably a cost-saving measure). Roughly 90% of the images in the book are black and white, and they cannot do justice to most of the subject matter. A second weakness is Lee's writing style, which is sometimes more eloquent than comprehensible. At times I had to reread a section several times in order to figure out what Lee was trying to say. He sometimes seemes to be addressing himself to an audience of art critics who are already familiar with the material, rather than students encountering it for the first time. He will tell us that a particular art work is hieratic in style, or is an example of Daoist style, without explaining why. Also the thematic, rather than chronological, approach means that some topics are fragmented into parts of different chapters. The material on Korea, Southeast Asia, and the Tang Dynasty seemed especially disjointed. The sections on China in particular need more development: Lee provides only a single page of text on the historically pivotal Qin Dynasty, and does only a fair job explaining the influences of Confucianism and Daoism.
One alternative text that deserves consideration is The Art of East Asia, edited by Gabriele Fahr-Becker. Almost of the photographs are in color, and the text is both more comprehensive and more comprehensible than Sherman Lee, in particular the section on China. The text is written by several different authors, one for each region, which has both advantages and disadvantages -- it avoids the fragmentation of Lee's approach, at the expense of integrating it all into one consistent framework. The key disadvantage of The Art of East Asia (compared to Sherman Lee's History of Far Eastern Art) is that it doesn't include India, which contributed some of Asia's most impressive sculptures, and whose religions had tremendous influence on the rest of Asia.

23 of 25 people found the following review helpful.
No where is there such a broad base of expertise
By A Customer
Sherman Lee guides us through the ages and territories of the Far East in this study. A study of art following a wonderfully coordinated common theme - ritual and religion. Most noteable is the progress of Buddhism from its origins in India, through Southeast Asia, into China, Korea and finally Japan. Respectable discourse on other arts are included in the tour. Good reading and a great survey of the arts of the Far East.

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
I find this text to be accessible and interesting.
By A Customer
I used this text in college, in a course on the subject. It pained me immensely to have to sell it back, but I was even more poor then than I am now, and needed the $50. I am now planning to purchase a new copy of it. This book is beautiful. It is full of simply amazing images, the text is clear, concise and accessible. Out of 10 years of undergraduate and graduate studies, I remember this text more fondly than almost any other. My thanks to the author for writing it.

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Minggu, 29 Agustus 2010

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Contemporary Architecture & the Digital Design Process (04)

Contemporary Architecture & the Digital Design Process (04) by Szalapaj, Peter [Paperback (2005)]

  • Published on: 2005
  • Binding: Paperback

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Selasa, 24 Agustus 2010

[Q272.Ebook] Free Ebook Trekking in Ecuador, by Robert Kunstaetter, Daisy Kunstaetter

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Trekking in Ecuador, by Robert Kunstaetter, Daisy Kunstaetter

The definitive travel guide to exploring the unique diversity and splendor of EcuadorEcuador is one of the leading Latin American destinationsDetails 30 amazing trekking adventures for all levels of hikersIncludes the history of Ecuador, its people, geography, where to stay and moreTrekking in Ecuador is The Mountaineers Books newest addition to our international trekking series. (Other books include Trekking in Bolivia, Trekking In Nepal, Trekking in Russia and Central Asia, Trekking in Tibet and Trekking Peaks of Nepal.)Ecuador, appropriately named, literally means equator, the invisible line that divides the Earth horizontally in two hemispheres (North and South). As one of South America's smallest countries, what it may lack in size, it makes up for with an incredible variety of trekking destinations (and other outdoor activities such as climbing and paddling), birds and wildlife. 30 trekking destinations from the coastal plains to the central highlands and eastern jungle offer something for everyone.

  • Sales Rank: #1181394 in Books
  • Color: Green
  • Brand: Kunstaetter
  • Model: 1746282
  • Published on: 2002-05-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 8.30" h x .76" w x 5.34" l, .88 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 301 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

From the Author
Trekking is our passion. Between 2000 and 2002 we explored 30 new trekking routes to write "Trekking in Ecuador", the most up-to-date hiking guide for this country. It remains an unforgettable experience and taught us that, however well we might know Ecuador, there would always be more to discover here.

We are graduates of the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS), in Wyoming, USA. We live in Ecuador and know the country intimately, its places, people, strengths and weaknesses. In addition to our personal knowledge, we have developed an extensive network of contacts throughout Ecuador and its travel community. We can therefore constantly keep our fingers on the pulse of local developments and regularly update "Trekking in Ecuador" on-line.

From the Inside Flap
"Robert and Daisy Kunstaetter have helped countless travellers realize ambitions of going beyond the beaten track. They give the trekker the confidence to be completely self-sufficient if he or she so desires - or to choose a group led by experienced guides... In other words, this book is blunder-proof."
- Ben Box, editor, the "South American Handbook"

"Trekking in Ecuador" is well-researched. ...it really made me want to break in a new pair of hiking boots and get back out on the wonderful trails of Ecuador."
- Jean Brown, partner, Safari Tours, and founding member, South American Explorers Club, Quito, Ecuador

"...I am indebted to the best expedition planners in Ecuador, Robert and Daisy Kunstaetter..."
- Mark Honigsbaum, journalist and author of "The Fever Trail"

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Very disappointing!
By Lesley Hill
We were very disappointed with this book. The trail descriptions were not detailed enough and the maps not clear enough to use it. We actually left it at home and found the information when we got to Ecuador! Unfortunately, I cannot say that I recommend this book at all.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Authors' Review
By Robert and Daisy Kunstaetter
Trekking is our passion. Between 2000 and 2002 we explored 30 new trekking routes to write "Trekking in Ecuador", the most up-to-date hiking guide for this country. It remains an unforgettable experience and taught us that, however well we might know Ecuador, there would always be more to discover here.
We are graduates of the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS), in Wyoming, USA. We live in Ecuador and know the country
intimately, its places, people, strengths and weaknesses. In addition to our personal knowledge, we have developed an extensive network of contacts throughout Ecuador and its travel community. We can therefore constantly keep our fingers on the pulse of local developments. "Trekking in Ecuador" is regularly updated on-line.
Ecuador's special appeal to trekkers, day-trippers, and nature lovers can be summed up in one word: accessibility. The country's unique combination of small size, exceptional geographic and biological diversity, and good transportation infrastructure places an outstanding variety of splendid natural experiences within easy reach of the adventurous visitor. Ecuador boasts more than forty-five protected natural areas, including national parks and private reserves, almost all of which offer trekking and day-hiking possibilities.
Many longer treks span several natural regions, from the highlands down toward the Amazon jungle or coastal plain. Ecuador
receives many visitors (approximately 500,000 a year), but as yet relatively few people come specifically to trek. Unlike well-known trekking venues such as Nepal, the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu in Peru, and Chile's Torres del Paine National Park, trails in Ecuador are never crowded and offer virtually unlimited scope for exploration. Trekking in Ecuador is easily combined with a visit to the country's more traditional destinations: the Gal�pagos Islands, colorful indigenous markets, Amazon jungle lodges or Pacific coast beaches.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Tried and True
By Kate Haxton
On a recent month long trip to Ecuador I boot-tested three hikes in Trekking in Ecuador and was very happy with the guide. The book contains a good range of hikes from dayhikes near major travelling hubs to week long treks in glorious remote National Parks. There is an interesting variety to the hikes, one that ends in natural hotsprings, some that offer views of dramatic peaks and glaciers and a hike for those interested in seeing elusive wild Ecuadorian orchids. Although I have hiked extensively in beautiful mountain ranges all over the world, the trek "High Lakes and Ridges" is possibly one of the best hikes I have done. I was pleased to find hikes of all levels of difficulty and what a treat to hike on lesser known trails and have the mountains all to our selves. I saw Trekking with Ecuador for sale on the web before I left for Ecuador but I wanted to check my options in Quito. I definatly think that this is the best trekking guide for Ecuador and I wished I had bought it before my trip so I could have studied up. Happy trails!

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Kamis, 19 Agustus 2010

[N388.Ebook] Get Free Ebook Glenn Barr's Faces, by Glenn Barr

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Detroit-based artist Glenn Barr presents a 96-page compilation featuring details from 80 paintings and drawings he created over the past five years. Inspired by the complex expressions and raw emotions revealed by faces, Barr invokes the human condition, creating a multitude of personalities ranging from extraordinarily common to extreme and fantastic. Barr uses pencil and brush to render elegant and elongated necklines, exaggerated eyes, and the gentle or jagged slopes shaping the noses or foreheads of the men, women, and monsters he creates, whether they are beautiful, ordinary, or even grotesque. Expressed in the intricate details of each image, Barr presents a delicate mix of texture, color and line typical of the his loose but carefully executed style. Turn the page to reveal subtle or manic emotions of the wise, the wicked and the wistful. "Faces" brings each reader one step closer to experiencing first hand the compelling mind and interesting characters found in the world of Glenn Barr.

  • Sales Rank: #1525604 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Last Gasp
  • Published on: 2011-09-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 6.00" h x .50" w x 6.00" l, .60 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 96 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

Review
"Distortion and contortion of the FACE gives me the freedom to tell a better story and to create a better composition. Elongating the neck and exaggerating the eyes, the forehead either grossly enlarged or minutely petite, the odd slope of the nose, even the oversized and perhaps misplaced mouth, can reveal the subtlest emotions. Even the hair framing the FACE can stream decorously, capable of communicating a life all its own, one grounded perhaps in vague tragedy or masked rapture. I also love the play of light and shadow, assisting and enhancing the narrative, creating mood and energy within the frame, expressing the emotion. In essence, it's all about dynamics." -- Glenn Barr

About the Author
Glenn Barr is one of Detroit's most celebrated and successful underground artists. His paintings have appeared in galleries from Seattle and San Francisco to New York City. Glenn's work has been featured in a variety of comics and graphic novels such as Mad, DC Comics and Paradox Press as well as in a series of self published books called Heep. Barr's contribution to animation include background styling for The Ren and Stimpy Show, Bjork's I Miss You video and The New Woody Woodpecker Show. Recognition for his paintings came with solo exhibitions in the late 1990s Since then, he has exhibited internationally and published compilations of his work in "Lowlife Paradise" (2003), "Haunted Paradise" (2006) and his new volume, "Faces."

Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A quality book
By Mark
Great book, especially for the price. It is a small book but well worth it. I plan on buying his other books as well after seeing this one.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Thid Guy is Amazing
By E. Thomas
I love his work, i wish this book was bigger, but I will settle for what i can get. Definitely worth the low price.

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Selasa, 17 Agustus 2010

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Detective Murdoch's life and work beoome tragically entwined when his sister, who long ago fled to a convent to escape their abusive father, is on her deathbed. Meanwhile, the same father has been charged with murder and calls on his estranged son to prove his innocence. But, knowing his father as he does, what is Murdoch to believe?

  • Sales Rank: #899644 in Books
  • Published on: 2012-04-06
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 7.80" h x 1.22" w x 5.12" l, .74 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 400 pages

Review
"Jennings is too tough and honest a writer to let anyone off her moral hook, even her hero." (The New York Times)"

About the Author
Maureen Jennings emigrated to Canada from the UK at the age of seventeen. Best known for the Murdoch Mysteries series, the TV adaptation of which has been running since 2008, Jennings has also launched a new contemporary series featuring a forensic profiler named Christine Morris. She lives in Toronto, Canada with her husband, two cats and two dogs.

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0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
good read
By liztn
as per the other in the series this is a good read for those addicted to Murdoch. enjoyed the book

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
The TV series is much better.
By Stephanie S. Greene
I didn't care for this book and didn't finish it. The TV series is much better.

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Senin, 16 Agustus 2010

[A116.Ebook] Ebook Free Tell Me Again, by Deanna DiLorenzo

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Tell Me Again, by Deanna DiLorenzo

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Tell Me Again, by Deanna DiLorenzo

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Tell Me Again, by Deanna DiLorenzo

Meagan Summers had it all--she was young and pretty, a successful businesswoman with a skyrocketing career in magazine publishing, and a baby on the way. Until, one night, she lost it all in a devastating accident that terminated her pregnancy and left her in a coma, paralyzed from the waist down. Tell Me Again follows Meagan's meandering, difficult journey to recovery, as she struggles to overcome obstacle after obstacle--addiction, paralysis, and a fragile, sometimes volatile, relationship with her soul mate, a beautiful poet named Amber. Along the way, Meagan begins to discover that fate has much more in store for her and Amber. Curious echoes from her time in a coma begin to appear--strange premonitions and dreams, half-formed memories of a mysterious place called the Realm, where life and death hang in a fluid, shifting balance. Fate has one more big challenge for Meagan--a challenge that will test her, and Amber, in ways they can't even imagine.

Tell Me Again is a story of resilience in the face of overwhelming obstacles, a story of pain, friendship, forgiveness, and, most of all, love--that will leave you guessing and gasping at every turn.

*Tell Me Again is the sequel to the novel Tell Me - a love story with thorns.

  • Sales Rank: #5571724 in Books
  • Published on: 2014-02-20
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 8.00" h x .98" w x 5.25" l, .99 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 392 pages

From the Author
Deanna DiLorenzo is the author of Tell Me and Tell Me Again.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Captivating Story
By Ack
This is the sequel to "Tell Me" , which I first bought two days ago. I love good stories, so after I finished the first book, I bought this sequel because I got so hooked on the story-
I like the romance between the main characters, Amber and Meagan, and all the challenges they have to face. I like their extreme emotions and the flaws that make them more humans than ideal fictional characters. It's fascinating and sometimes scary to read about Meagan's inner fight between her good side and the part of her that needs to punish/humiliate those who hurt her or those she loves. I love the fact that although Meagan and Amber's strength/determination are manifest throughout the book, the author also does a really good job of showing us their insecurities.
The other good thing about this book is that is does of very good job of developing the many secondary characters.
Why am I giving 4.5 stars instead of 5?
1) Both books had some references to fat women that made me uncomfortable. This is probably the case for many other books I've read before but maybe with all what I've been hearing lately in the news I'm just getting more sensitive and aware of this. The concern I have, in the way this was used in this book, it's the fact that this was used in a way that, I felt, didn't really add anything to the scene.eg With Zeppo complaining about one of the patrons starring at his paintings in "Tell Me" : "She's fat and she's ugly and she hates me". I read this and I was thinking, hum, what would have happened if he'd said " She's thin and she's beautiful and she hates me"?
2) I wish this book could relate part of the story from Amber's perspective. The author did that a little bit when Meagan's read Amber's journal and it was a great. I just wish we had more of this throughout both books.
3) The author doesn't really explain why some people can remember what happened when they were in their coma, while other people can't. May be it's in the next week.

Overall, still a good book that I'd recommend to people who like captivating stories and I'm looking forward to the sequel to this one too.

Note: My review is both for "Tell Me" and "Tell Me Again". 4.5 stars.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Amazing.
By Bridgette
This is probably the best book i've read in my 23 years of life. Well this and the first book of this series. I was completely enthralled my the characters after reading a few pages. The twists and turns of this book always kept me on the edge of my seat. Ive cried, laughed, gotten pissed off, and all around again. I would recommend this to anyone who wants a realistic romantic book that is full of comedy and drama. The best part of this book is i could relate to many aspects of meagan summers. This book is full of decisions that i honestly believe we have to face all the time, maybe a different circumstance but it's the same type of decisions you have to make in real life. I truly hope i will be reading another book of this, hopefully a trilogy. Read this book people.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Read this!
By LT
If you want a book you can really get lost in and an author that doesn't just spit out a 200 page book....this is it. You must read the first book 'tell me' before you dig into tell me again. But what a hell of a story! She takes you on a ride where you don't know what's coming next. The author has taken the time to give you such a complete story and characters with depth. It's refreshing. The way it ended, I'm feeling trilogy.

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Sabtu, 14 Agustus 2010

[F507.Ebook] PDF Ebook Schelling's Treatise on the Essence of Human Freedom (Series in Continental Thought), by Martin Heidegger

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Schelling's Treatise on the Essence of Human Freedom (Series in Continental Thought), by Martin Heidegger

Heidegger's lectures delivered at the University of Freiburg in 1936 on Schelling's Treatise On Human Freedom came at a crucial turning point in Heidegger's development. He had just begun his study to work out the term “Ereignis.” Heidegger's interpretation of Schelling's work reveals a dimension of his thinking which has never been previously published in English.

While Schelling's philosophy is less known than that of the other major German Idealists, Fichte and Hegel, he is one of the thinker with whom Heidegger has the most affinity, making this study fruitful for an understanding of both philosophers. Heidegger's interpretation of On Human Freedom is the most straightforward of the studies to have appeared in English on the Treatise, and is the only work that is devoted to Schelling in Heidegger's corpus. The basic problems at stake in Schelling's Treatise lie at the very heart of the idealist tradition: the question of the compatibility of the system and individual freedom, the questions of pantheism and the justification of evil. Schelling was the first thinker in the rationalist-idealist tradition to grapple seriously with the problem of evil.

These are the great questions of the philosophical tradition. They lead Schelling and, with him, Heidegger, to possibilities that come very close to the boundaries of the idealist tradition. For example, Schelling's concept of the “groundless”--what reason can no longer ground and explain--points back to Jacob Boehme and indirectly forward to the direction of Heidegger's own inquiry into “Being.” Heidegger's reading of Schelling, especially of the topics of evil and freedom, clearly shows Schelling's influence on Heidegger's views.

  • Sales Rank: #6819642 in Books
  • Published on: 1985-03
  • Original language: German
  • Number of items: 1
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 200 pages

Language Notes
Text: English, German (translation)

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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Heidegger's appropriation of Schelling...
By Brian C.
For anyone interested in Heidegger and/or Schelling this is a must read (and if you are not interested in Heidegger or Schelling I think you should be). For fans of Heidegger this is an interesting text because as it says on the back cover the courses which this book is based on were given at right around the time of Heidegger's 'turn'. One can see the beginnings of the turn in this work in Heidegger's analysis of the historical development which provided the conditions necessary for the modern concept of 'system'; a concept which guides Schelling's analysis in the freedom essay (Heidegger sees one of the conditions of the modern concept of system in the "predominance of the mathematical as the criterion of knowledge" (pg34) which points towards his later work on technology and enframing). One can also see evidence of the turn in Heidegger's interpretations of the understanding of Being in German Idealism (as freedom or will). Heidegger is definitely beginning to see the historical nature of our understanding of Being (as opposed to simply grounding our understanding of Being in the ahistorical existentials of Dasein).

This book will also be of great interest for anyone interested in Schelling because it is a truly profound, and detailed commentary on what I think is probably Schelling's most profound and important work, his essay on the Essence of Human Freedom (for the reader interested in reading Schelling's essay along with Heidegger's commentary I recommend the translation contained in Philosophy of German Idealism: Fichte, Jacobi, and Schelling (German Library). I do not speak or read German but I have been told by a professor of mine, who was a Schelling scholar, that the translation in that volume is better than the translation put out by SUNY). Schelling's freedom essay presents a number of interpretive difficulties for the reader. The subject that Schelling is dealing with is inherently difficult (the ontological grounding of human freedom) and Schelling's writing can also be quite obscure at times. Schelling also frames the entire problem in theological language which can be off putting to the modern reader. It is often difficult, I think, for modern readers to take a philosopher seriously when he (or she) begins to describe the inner life of God. On a first reading it often seems as if Schelling is simply making ungrounded assertions in his freedom essay about the nature of the Absolute (or God) and is claiming knowledge for himself which no human being could possibly possess. We, of course, have known since Kant that human reason is incapable of providing us with knowledge of the Absolute as it exists in itself and it often seems as if Schelling is engaging in speculations beyond Kant's wildest dreams in his freedom essay (despite being a post-Kantian philosopher). What Heidegger sees clearly, I think, is that Schelling's essay is as much a work of ontology as it is of theology and Heidegger is able to detach, to some degree, Schelling's ontological insights from his theological language in this work. Heidegger in a sense 'modernizes' and 'demythologizes' Schelling's essay in this work. Heidegger also attempts to follow Schelling's train of thought in order to seek out the motivations behind his thought so that Schelling's claims no longer appear as merely ungrounded assertions about something that is inherently unknowable. One begins to get a sense of the inner movement of Schelling's thought which is much more important than simply appropriating Schelling's assertions without understanding the motivations behind those assertions.

Like all of Heidegger's works there are times in this work when Heidegger lapses into a nearly impenetrable obscurity but there are also moments (and quite a few of them) in which he is extremely lucid and clear in his presentations of Schelling's ideas.

The rest of my review will be a slightly more detailed summary of the general development that Heidegger traces in this work for those who are interested. I should emphasize that everything I say in this review should be considered very provisional. I am by no means an expert in Heidegger or Schelling so it is possible that a great deal of what I have written will have to revised in the future.

The goal of Schelling's essay, according to Heidegger, is to provide the grounds for a philosophical system which encompasses the whole of being and is at the same time capable of integrating human freedom. It is not enough to simply define human freedom (though this will certainly be a part of Schelling's task); one must also "establish the place of this concept in the system as a whole; that is, show how freedom and man's being free go together with beings as a whole and fit into them" (pg19). Why does Schelling's task appear precisely in this form? Heidegger believes that a new interpretation of Being, its determinability and its truth (pg32) arises in the modern period which makes the demand for a system, or the demand that knowledge be presented in the form of a system, an absolute necessity for German Idealism. There are a number of conditions which led to this notion of the system and the demand that knowledge be formulated in terms of the system. I will list what I think were the four most important (out of the six conditions Heidegger lists): "1. The predominance of the mathematical as the criterion of knowledge [which I already mentioned] 2. The self-founding of knowledge in the sense of this requirement as the precedence of certainy over truth [i.e. Descartes's method of radical doubt] 3. The founding of certainty as the self-certainty of the 'I think' 4. Thinking, ratio as the court of judgment for the essential determination of Being" (pg34). Knowledge must be grounded in certainty and certainty is only genuinely grounded in the certainty of the "I think". This ultimately leads to Kant's Copernican revolution in which Being is reinterpreted in terms of what it is possible for human thought to represent (i.e. the ratio becomes the court of judgment for the essential determinations of Being). Reason projects the system before it ever encounters beings, the system is a part of the architectonic of reason itself. As Heidegger writes, "According to Kant, reason posits a focus imaginarius, a focus in which all the rays of questioning things and of determining objects meet, or, conversely, in terms of which all knowledge has its unity. Reason is the faculty - we can say - of anticipatory gathering - logos, legein" (pg37).

This presents a difficulty though. There seems to be a contradiction in the idea of a system of human freedom which ultimately led Kant to posit his dualism between the phenomenal and noumenal and which seemed to lead to the impossibility of ever reconciling the first and second Critiques. Kant continued to work on this problem until his death and his third Critique seemed to point in the direction of a reconciliation which was taken up by the later German Idealists. Kant was still working on this problem in the Opus Posthumum which Heidegger quotes and in which Kant was especially concerned with the relation between God, the world, and the human being (the I Myself, or the existential self, or moral self). [As a sidenote: I think the mistake of ordinary theism is to think God as part of the world system which ultimately is a denial of God as Absolute which is why a theologian like Paul Tillich can say that it is just as atheistic to affirm God's existence as it is to deny it] But back to the work under discussion: the system seems to be based on the principle of sufficient reason. The Idea of unifying all knowledge in terms of the principle of sufficient reason is precisely the heuristic Idea necessary to guide the quest for human knowledge (and scientific knowledge in particular) in the first place even if this goal can never actually be attained. But the principle of sufficient reason (the grounding principle of the system) seems to rule out the possibility of human freedom. From the standpoint of the system human being and human freedom seem to be the great flaw in the diamond (to quote a line from Paul Valery's poem The Graveyard by the Sea; a line that Maurice Merleau-Ponty was especially fond of quoting). Human freedom seems to be precisely what resists the totalization of the system and yet Schelling has set himself the task of providing a system which will be capable of placing human freedom in its place in relation to beings as a whole.

Schelling's task is not entirely different from the task of the modern defenders of free-will who attempt to account for the place of human freedom in a world governed by mechanical laws. Modern thinkers are also attempting to think the place of humanity's freedom in relation to being as a whole. Schelling's task is not entirely identical to the modern theorists though. Schelling is less interested in securing a place for humanity's freedom in a world governed by mechanical laws (a vision of the world which Schelling does not share) and far more interested in securing a place for humanity's freedom in relation to the ground of Being as a whole (or God). This is a result of Schelling's pantheism. It is necessary to understand pantheism precisely though. Heidegger writes, "In its formal meaning, pantheism means: pan-theos, "Everything - God"; everything stands in relation to God; all beings are in relation to the ground of beings" (pg68). It is necessary to have something to contrast this view with. Ordinary theism views the relation between God and creation as a relation between an artisan and his product (with the difference that God did not have any pre-existent material to work with and so is the creator of both the material and the form while the artisan is merely the creator of the form). God according to this view is a self-subsistent being who is capable of existing whether or not the world, or creation, exists (we will see in a moment that Schelling disagrees with this notion of God which, I think, is why Heidegger is able to demythologize Schelling, or interpret Schelling in ontological rather than theological terms). Creation, according to the standard theistic view, is certainly a dependent form of being which depends on its creator for its existence, but once created it also tends to follow laws of its own. These laws may be derived from the nature of God or may have been instituted by God but they are not identical to God; the beings in creation are not in a direct relationship to God but are in direct relation to the laws of the universe. In the Aristotelian universe taken over by St. Thomas Aquinas, for example, fire rises because it has a certain place within the cosmos which it naturally tends to move towards and not because God determines it to do so (God is not the efficient, formal, material, or teleological cause in this case). Humanity's place in nature is also determined by God, but once determined tends to follow rules of its own. God has endowed the human being with a soul and with the faculty of reason which is what allows us to transcend the laws of nature and to be self-determining (i.e. free). The fact that the soul is conceived as a created being which has a relatively autonomous existence in relation to God means that the problem of human freedom in relation to God does not arise in as acute a form for traditional theism as it does for pantheism (this is somewhat oversimplified since traditional theism does encounter the same problem in relation to the notion of Providence since God is supposed to be using the laws of the universe to guide the universe towards a pre-determined end and this raises the whole problem of predestination, etc. but this is not directly relevant to Schelling's essay). By attempting to think of being in its relation to the Absolute or God pantheism has a real problem providing for the possibility of freedom in relation to the Absolute. As Schelling writes, "Absolute causal power in one being leaves nothing but unconditional passivity for all the rest" (quoted in Heidegger, pg69). Pantheism does seem to place causality in the Absolute which seems necessarily to swallow up the possibility for any relative independence of nature or created being in relation to the Absolute. The question of how to ground human freedom in a system, therefore, becomes a problem about the relation between God and his creation which means that Schelling must rethink the nature of creation (and of God) and it is here that Schelling's genuine originality and relevance for the present lie. What Schelling winds up doing is providing a new ontology of becoming; not in terms of a naive conception of a 'temporal flow'; but rather in terms of the movement of revelation (the dialectical belonging together of ground and existence in every being, specifically in the form of the will). This is very similar to Heidegger's understanding of Being as unconcealment which, I think, is why Heidegger was so interested in Schelling in the first place. But I am getting ahead of myself.

To return to the problem of pantheism. Pantheism is often defined as a position which holds that "God is the world". Schelling, and Heidegger, do not deny that this is a true conception of pantheism but everything turns on how one understands the copula 'is' in that sentence. This is precisely the point where Schelling's treatise turns away from being a merely theological discussion (theology in the sense of the science of the divine or God) and becomes ontology (the science of Being, the nature of the 'is'). The problem with the traditional understanding of the formula "God is the world" is that it understands the copula in terms of an inadequate notion of identity as mere identicalness (i.e. there is no difference between God and the world, they are identical). Heidegger writes that for Schelling "identity is truly not a dead relation of indifferent and sterile identicalness, but 'unity' is directly productive, 'creative', and progressing toward others" (pg79). He also writes, "the correct concept of identity means the primordial belonging together of what is different in the one (This one is at the same time the ground of possibility of what is different)" (pg78). This is a difficult idea to grasp but it is the same idea that Heidegger takes up in the little volume Identity and Difference (see my review and my discussion of the belonging together of thought and Being as the correct understanding of identity as well as my discussion of the transitivity of the 'is' in the sentence "the Being of beings means Being which is beings"). Another problem with pantheism as it is traditionally understood is that it tends to view 'thingness' as the fundamental nature of reality as it is in itself (or it determines the Being of beings as 'thinghood'; this is as true of finite beings as it is of God). As Schelling writes, "The error [of the pantheist]...is by no means due to the fact that he posits all things in God, but to the fact that they are things...[and that God] is also a thing for him" (quoted in Heidegger, pg89). Schelling is thinking particularly of Spinoza here. Heidegger goes on to write, "That means the error is not a theological one, but more basically and truly an ontological one. In general and as a whole, beings are understood in terms of the being of things, of natural objects, and only thus" (pg89). The problem is not that beings are thought in their relation to God, or as belonging together, the problem is with our ontological conception of beings in the first place. The problem with Spinozism is that beings are determined as 'things' (as we shall see Schelling determines the Being of beings in terms of a unity between ground and existence which reaches its highest level, the level of Spirit, in man and provides the ground for the possibility of evil and, hence, for human freedom). Schelling believes that 'becoming' is the only adequate ontological determination of the Being of beings (but again he does not conceive of becoming in the naive sense suggested by the image of a river flowing but rather in terms of a process of revelation, and this to me is the most exciting aspect of this book and Schelling's essay ).

Schelling is also critical of previous attempts to define freedom in German Idealism because he believes they provide only the formal definition of freedom (self-determination in conformity with the law of one's own being) and fail to provide an account of the specific nature of human freedom which is a freedom for good and evil. This is another way in which Schelling differs from modern thinkers in relation to the question of free-will. Those who attempt to defend free-will today are simply attempting to defend (usually) some form of indeterminism within the strict determinism of nature. Good and evil are purely anthropomorphic predicates and have no relation to objective Being. It is not, therefore, necessary to provide an ontological ground for the specific human faculty for good and evil. It is enough to defend the existence of a certain form of indeterminism the effects of which can be interpreted in terms of good and evil by certain beings (namely, human beings). Heidegger is aware of the possibility of criticizing Schelling in terms of anthropomorphism but this is a very involved question that I do not have space to go into here. Suffice it to say that Schelling does believe it is necessary to provide an ontological ground for the possibility of evil (which means the freedom essay is also about theodicy). While I cannot entirely defend Schelling from the charge of anthromorphism here I would point out that good and evil are certainly a part of our everyday experience of the world and Schelling's ontology is, therefore, in a sense closer to our everyday life-world than the purely objective value-free ontologies of philosophers like Spinoza or even the ontologies implicit in modern science.

To ground the possibility of evil ontologically means, within the language of Schelling's thought, to ground it in God. So we must examine God. The reason that Schelling's thought can be demythologized is due to the fact that Schelling does not view God as a being; he is not a traditional theist (indeed, some modern commentators have gone so far as to consider Schelling a materialist). Heidegger attempts to elucidate Schelling's understanding of God when he writes, "the determination of beings in the sense of the presence of something objectively present is no longer adequate at all to conceive this Being. Thus 'existence' is understood beforehand as 'emergence-from-self' revealing oneself and in becoming revealed to oneself coming to oneself. For Schelling, existence always means a being insofar as it is aware of itself" (pg109). God is as Existent Spirit or as his own self-revelation. God is not a thing but a process of self-revelation. According to Schelling every being is composed of 'ground' and existence'. Ground is conceived as substratum or the basis of a being and existence is understood in its etymological sense as what emerges from itself and in emerging reveals itself. God is his ground but not yet as himself. As Heidegger writes, "The ground in God is that in God in which God himself 'is' not truly himself, but is rather his ground for his selfhood" (pg110). This is a difficult concept to grasp and one I am not entirely sure I have completely understood but what is important is that the identity between God and his ground is not merely the unity of a thing composed of two constituents but is rather the dialectical unity which determines the "essential laws of God's becoming in his Being as God" (pg110). It is a dialectical unity because God's ground and existence are not merely identical but the ground is the opposite or the condition which is necessary for God's self-revelation. We can think of this as analogous to the necessity of darkness in order for light to exist. In order for there to be light and illumination it is necessary for there to be a ground of darkness. This darkness does not necessarily exist first in a temporal sense but is always simultaneous with the existence of light and provides the ground for the existence of light. Light could not exist if there were no darkness within which to manifest itself. Similarly God's ground provides the necessary condition for God's existence as illumination, Spirit, or love. Schelling calls the ground in God which is not God himself nature and determines it as longing. Schelling expresses the nature of the longing in this way, "turning toward the understanding, indeed, though not yet recognizing it, just as we longingly desire unknown, nameless excellence. This primal longing moves in anticipation like a surging, billowing sea, similar to the 'matter' of Plato, following some dark, uncertain law" (pg122). This is beautiful and rather poetic language and it expresses God in his dual nature. A longing which reaches towards the understanding unknowingly and a light which descends to illuminate that longing. God is precisely this movement of revelation.

Every being other than God has its being in the ground of God or nature and is a unity of the two principles in some way. In human beings this unity is at its highest point which is also the point of greatest separation. Human beings are the only beings in which the two principles can separate and in which the will of the ground can come to dominate the universal will (the will of love) and this is precisely the possibility of evil. This is why the inclination to evil can be said to pre-exist human beings; but the longing in itself is not evil until human beings exist and chooses to make this principle dominant. What is truly interesting, and I think most relevant, about Schelling's ontology is the way in which he determines the Being of beings as this unity between ground and existence. In Schelling's ontology beings are no longer conceived as 'things' but they are not dissolved into a formless becoming either. As Heidegger writes, "becoming is rather understood as a way of Being. But Being is now understood primordially as will. Beings are in being according to the joining of the factors 'ground and existence' belonging to the jointure of Being in a willing being" (pg123). In other words the Being of beings is determined as will; specifically the will of the ground, or longing, which is the longing for the self-revelation of God. Every being is determined, has its particular place in being, in accordance with the degree to which it expresses the unity between these two principles. As Heidegger writes, "Being...cannot be understood as the brute existence of something manufactured, but must be understood as the jointure of ground and existence. The jointure is not a rigid jungle gym of determinations but - itself presenting in itself in the reciprocal relation - presences as will" (pg135). This means there is a continuity between human beings and the rest of nature and being. Human beings are the highest beings in creation in the sense that they express the highest unity of these two principles, of the jointure of ground and existence in the will, but they are not an entirely distinct kind of being (mind as opposed to matter for example; or soul as opposed to body). Human beings are this unity between will and existence just as atoms are but at a different level or stage of development (we could say that the mechanical view of nature is precisely a view from outside; it allows us to manipulate reality but it does not reach the Being of beings which is will, the longing for an unknown Good and existence as emergence from self or unoncealment in Heidegger's terms). The ground that Schelling describes is very similar to Heidegger's notion of Being as nothing (or the unground) which provides the ground for unconcealment.

I could keep going but that is a basic overview of Schelling's ontology as it is presented in this book. I should point out that Heidegger, at the very end, believes that Schelling's project fails precisely because he remains committed to the idea of system. According to Heidegger freedom is incomprehensible because "freedom transposes us into the occurrence of Being, not in the mere representation of it" (pg162). And Being is always finite being (pg161-162). We can see Heidegger's existentialism at work here. Heidegger no longer conceives the entire movement from the standpoint of system which would be a standpoint from outside of the world, or from the standpoint of God. Rather, as Heidegger says, human thinking possesses a continual relation to human existence (pg163). Heidegger conceives of the movement of Being from the standpoint of finite human being rather than from the standpoint of the Absolute. Heidegger will also no longer conceive of Being as a being (ontotheology) and so it is not necessary to talk about God or the Absolute. Being is always finite and the process of revelation (or unconcealment) is ungrounded or grounded in a ground that is not a ground (both Schelling and Heidegger are borrowing Jacob Boehme's notion of Ungrund).

In summary this is a very enlightening book for anyone interested in Schelling or Heidegger. I learned a lot about both philosophers through a close reading of this book and it receives my highest recommendation!

P.S. For the reader interested in Schelling I would also highly recommend a book called The Conspiracy of Life: Meditations on Schelling and His Time (Suny Series in Contemporary Continental Philosophy) by Jason Wirth. I am not an entirely unbiased reader since Dr. Wirth was a professor of mine and we did an independent study together on Schelling's freedom essay. But since Dr. Wirth's book is excellent any way you slice it I do not think my bias matters much. It is an excellent work for anyone who is interested in Schelling's relevance to contemporary Continental philosophy.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Heidegger and Schelling
By Robin Friedman
Martin Heidegger (1889 -- 1976) is best-known as the author of a seminal work of 20th Century philosophy,"Being and Time." (1927) Heidegger saw himself as rejecting metaphysical philosophy and as redirecting its questions. In his classroom courses, he frequently engaged in philosophical hermenutics by lecturing in detail on a specific text and trying to understand it from the inside. By all accounts, Heidegger was a charismatic lecturer. His ability to bring seemingly abstract philosophical questions to life, for all their difficulty, inspired many students such as Hannah Arendt.

In 1936, Heidegger lectured on a treatise by the German idealistic philosopher Frederick Schelling (1775 -- 1854) called "The Essence of Human Freedom" (1809), itself a highly difficult work of some 90 pages. Schelling had been a college friend of both Hegel and the poet Holderlin. Hegel published his most famous work "The Phenomenology of Mind" in 1807, two years before Schelling's Treatise. In the "Phenomenology" Hegel attacked his friend's version of philosophical idealism for its alleged mystical, intuitive character. Schelling took the criticism hard, and the friendship ended. At the time Heidegger wrote, Schelling had been neglected for many years, even in Germany. Schelling's Treatise remains little read, due to its romanticism and its anthrophomorphism, qualities of which Heidegger was fully aware, in addition to its obscurity. This translation of Heidegger's lectures on Schelling's Treatise dates from 1985 and is by the American philosopher Joan Stambaugh. It is as readable and accessible as this text is likely to be.

Philosophers tend not to be the best interpreters of one another's work because their own thought gets in the way. Heidegger is notorious for his idiosyncratic readings of other thinkers to bend them to his own lights. Heidegger's s book on Schelling, while by no stretch a "neutral" evaluation of his predecessor is a sympathetic and plausible account of the Treatise. It aims for and achieves more. Reading Heidegger's lectures, I got the sense of struggling with both Schelling and Heidegger. The text convinced me that something important was being said, however obscurely. As with other Heidegger, much of this book is seeming gibberish. Impenetrable discussions are often followed by passages of great insight and respective clarity. Some of the difficulty may be due to the difficulty of transferring apoken lectures to the printed page. Frequently, after long obscure passages in this book, Heidegger will proclaim in his own voice that the discussion makes little sense. I felt frustrated, but I remembered that while speaking Heidegger probably delivered these really obscure analyses with a tone of irony in his voice that would not communicate to the page. Heidegger in fact appears to be a good as well as a charismatic lecturer. He organizes his material and repeats and summarizes what he has said when he moves from one section to another. He appears to try to make himself understood. The lectures are filled with asides, readily understood examples, and even touches of humor.

Heidegger's lectures, which exceed considerably Schelling's text in length, consist of opening remarks, and extended discussion of Schelling's own introduction to his text and a shorter and much more difficult discussion of the "Main Part" of Schelling's Treatise. Why lecture on Schelling's Treatise rather than on a different text? Here is Heidegger's response (p. 11)

"We stated that no further explanation was necessary why we have chosen this treatise -- unless in terms of the treatise itself. For it raises a question in which something is expressed which underlies all of man's individual intentions and aspirations, the question of philosophy as such. Whoever grasps this question knows immediately that it is meaningless to ask why and to what purpose we philosphize. For philosophy is grounded only in terms of itself- or else not at all, just as art reveals its truth only through itself."

Schelling was a philosopher of absolute idealism. Heidegger rejected absolute idealism although its impact on him was profound. His discussion of the nature of philosophical system building and of the aims of German idealism after Kant are deeply insightful. Schelling's Treatise was intended as both a tribute to and a refutation of the philosophical system of Spinoza. Heidegger thus engages in this work with Spinoza, something he was faulted for not doing in "Being and Time".

Heidegger saw himself as a philosopher of questioning and as a philosopher of Being. He engages with Schelling, more than with Hegel, because of the limitedlessness, poetical character of Schelling's thought. Heidegger wants to understand what philosophical Absolutism is, and how, if at all, it comports with freedom. Schelling had thought that the claimed absolutism of Spinoza resulted in fatalism. Heidegger then explores Schelling's treatment of the nature of evil. Philosophical idealism is frequently rejected on these two broad issues among others: 1. it leads to determinism and fatalism and 2. it cannot account for the existence of evil.

Heidegger offers a long and in places tortorous account of Schelling's idealism, understanding of human freedom, and understanding of evil. As an absolute idealist, Schelling tried to combine in a difficult way the Absolute and infinite with the individual. Heidegger rejects the absolute, but his own concept of Being appears to me to owe much to it. Heidegger is a philosopher of becoming, human finitude, and approaches to Being.

This book is a difficult commentary on a text which, if anything, is more difficult. Early in his study, (p 9), Heidegger quotes his subject as saying "It is a poor objection to a philosopher to say that he is incomprehensible." Readers without a strong background in Heidegger's "Being and Time" and in Kant and his successors will be unduly frustrated by this book. Readers with a passion for philosophical issues will be engaged by this work.

Robin Friedman

7 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
Heidegger at his best
By A Customer
Martin Heidegger in this decisive work takes a little known author and "confronts" his work with his own understanding of Being as finite. The result is an amazing understanding of the finite human condition as freedon. This is authentic thought that does not wallow in morbidity nor escape to mere rationality or the romanticism of idealism. Heidegger fresh from working out his "Contributions to Philosophy:From Enowing" is fully engaged and moving on. Heidegger, gives adequate cautions through out the work so that our initial enthusiasm is not lost but becomes transformed into a silent "yes" that can refresh us for some time to come. Stambaugh, thoroughly versed in translating for her readers and those that want to read Heidegger, also provides an extensive appendix that is a "gold mine" for rereading all of Heideggers works. This appendix is almost like "notes from the underground". Though Heidegger might not approve of such terms he would nevertheless understand. Make no mistake, Heidegger has not forgotten his own history (son of a sexton) nor the history of Western thought. This history is fully put to the task of working out his own thought, that of Schelling and the resulting transformations in both understand the translator and the reader. If you try to "figure" this work out you will miss the poetry. If you "simply love" this work you may too easily move on to the "next thing" that is exciting. Are you ready?

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Minggu, 08 Agustus 2010

[G248.Ebook] Fee Download Bitter Remains: A Custody Battle, A Gruesome Crime, and the Mother Who Paid the Ultimate Price, by Diane Fanning

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Bitter Remains: A Custody Battle, A Gruesome Crime, and the Mother Who Paid the Ultimate Price, by Diane Fanning

The bestselling true crime author of Under Cover of the Night recounts Laura Ackerson’s disappearance and murder in North Carolina, the discovery of her remains in Texas, and the aftermath…
 
On July 13, 2011, Laura Jean Ackerson of Kinston, North Carolina, went to pick up her two toddler sons. It would be the last time she was seen alive...
 
Two weeks later, detectives searching for the missing mother made a gruesome discovery on the shores of Oyster Creek near Richmond, Texas—the dismembered body parts of a young woman whom they were able to identify as Laura Ackerson.
 
Laura’s ex, Grant Hayes—the  father of her two sons—and his wife, Amanda, the mother of his newborn daughter, both pointed the finger at each other as the one guilty of murdering Laura, cutting up her body, and then transporting and disposing of the remains.
 
This is the haunting true crime story of a devoted mother, a disturbed couple, and how these horrific events came to pass...
 
INCLUDES PHOTOS

  • Sales Rank: #179327 in Books
  • Brand: BERKLEY
  • Published on: 2016-01-05
  • Released on: 2016-01-05
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 7.50" h x 1.12" w x 4.25" l, .50 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 416 pages
Features
  • BERKLEY

Review
PRAISE FOR DIANE FANNING
 
“Very few writers have the insight and gift to take a true story and make it one hell of a page-turner.”—Susan Murphy Milano, domestic violence victims’ advocate, on A Poisoned Passion
 
“Unbelievable stuff!”—Mike DeForest, WKMG-TV, on Mommy’s Little Girl
 
“I couldn’t put it down until I had finished it...A story that’s enjoyable to read and accurate to detail.”—Herb Betz on Through the Window
 
“I was astonished by how good this book was—insightful, well written, and fascinating.”—Hugh Aynesworth, four-time Pulitzer Prize nominee, on Out There

About the Author
Diane Fanning is the Edgar® Award–nominated, national bestselling author of fourteen true crime books, including Under Cover of the Night, as well as the Lucinda Pierce Mysteries, and a World War II mystery, Scandal in the Secret City.
 
She has appeared on numerous network and cable news shows and radio stations across the United States and Canada, including TODAY, 48 Hours, 20/20, Forensic Files, Snapped, bio., Investigation Discovery, E!, and the BBC.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Praise for Diane Fanning

Berkley titles by Diane Fanning

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Notable People

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

CHAPTER THIRTY

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

CHAPTER FORTY

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

CHAPTER FIFTY

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

Afterword

Photographs

NOTABLE PEOPLE

THE VICTIM

LAURA JEAN ACKERSON—Twenty-seven-year old entrepreneur, graphic artist and mother of two, aka Laura Hayes

THE ACCUSED

GRANT HAYES III—Musician, artist and father of Grant, Gentle and Lily Hayes. Husband of Amanda Hayes, aka Grant Haze

AMANDA HAYES—Actress, artist, mother of Sha Elmer and Lily Hayes and wife of Grant Hayes, aka Amanda Tucker, Amanda Smith, Amanda Haze

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

RETHA FAYE RYAN ABERNATHY—Mother of Amanda Hayes

JASON ACKERSON—Older half brother of Laura Jean Ackerson

PATRICIA BARAKAT—Inmate in the Wake County facility who befriended Amanda Hayes when she was incarcerated awaiting trial

DALTON BERRY—Son of Karen Berry and nephew of Amanda Hayes

KAREN BERRY—Older half sister of Amanda Hayes, lives in Texas

SHELTON BERRY—Son of Karen Berry and nephew of Amanda Hayes

SHA ELMER—Daughter of Amanda Hayes and Scott Elmer, aka Sha Guddat

GENTLE HAYES—Youngest son of Grant Hayes III and Laura Ackerson

GRANT HAYES II—Father of Grant and Grantina Hayes, husband of Patsy Hayes

GRANT HAYES IV—Oldest son of Grant Hayes III and Laura Ackerson, aka little Grant

GRANTINA HAYES—Sister of Grant Hayes III, aka Tina

LILLIAN ANN LOVE HAYES—Daughter of Grant Hayes III and Amanda Hayes, aka Lily

PATSY HAYES—Mother of Grant Hayes III, wife of Grant Hayes II

LAUREN HARRIS—Friend of Grant Hayes III and manager of the Monkey Joe’s in Raleigh, North Carolina

JOSEPH “JOSE” HARDIN—Music promoter on St. John and friend of Grant Hayes III

MATT GUDDAT—Boyfriend and later husband of Sha Elmer

MARK GIERTH—A friend of Grant Hayes on St. John

CHEVON MATHES—Laura Ackerson’s friend and business partner

BARBARA PATTY—Church friend and mentor of Laura Ackerson

KANDICE ROWLAND—Daughter of Karen Berry and niece of Amanda Hayes

OKSANA SAMARSKY—Artist and friend of Laura Ackerson

HEIDI SCHUMACHER—Laura Ackerson’s closest friend

NICKY SMITH—Third husband of Amanda Hayes

PABLO TRINIDAD—Confidant of Grant Hayes III in Wake County jail

OFFICIALS

DR. GINGER CALLOWAY—Court-appointed psychologist who provided the psychological evaluation report about Laura Ackerson and Grant Hayes III in their custody fight

OFFICER KEVIN CROCKER—Policeman with the Raleigh Police Department in Raleigh, North Carolina

WILL DURHAM—One of two attorneys representing Grant Hayes III at trial

DETECTIVE JERRY FAULK—Raleigh Police Department’s lead investigator in the Laura Ackerson case

AGENT MICHAEL GALLOWAY—Forensic investigator with the Raleigh/Wake City-County Bureau of Identification

JOHNNY GASKINS—Amanda Hayes’s lead attorney

DETECTIVE DEXTER GILL—Investigator with the Raleigh Police Department

DETECTIVE JAMES GWARTNEY—Kinston, North Carolina, police department investigator who was the first to respond to Chevon Mathes’s report of Laura Ackerson’s disappearance

SERGEANT BRIAN HALL—Investigator with the Raleigh Police Department

BECKY HOLT—Assistant district attorney in Wake County, North Carolina

COURTNEY LAST—Computer forensics analyst with the Raleigh Police Department

DETECTIVE SERGEANT ROBERT LATOUR—Raleigh, North Carolina, homicide detective

DR. NOBBY MAMBO—Deputy chief medical examiner with the Galveston County Medical Examiner’s Office in Galveston, Texas

DETECTIVE DAVID MOORE—Investigator with the Raleigh Police Department

DETECTIVE ZEKE MORSE—Investigator with the Fort Bend County Sheriff’s Office in Fort Bend, Texas

KIM ORESKOVICH—Crime scene investigator with the Fort Bend County Sheriff’s Office in Fort Bend, Texas

DETECTIVE THOMAS OUELLETTE—Investigator with the Raleigh Police Department

MEL PALMER—Investigator working for attorney Johnny Gaskins

DETECTIVE STEVE PREVITALI—Raleigh, North Carolina, homicide detective

DETECTIVE MARK QUAGLIARELLO—Investigator with the Raleigh Police Department

AGENT SHANNON QUICK—Senior agent with the Raleigh/Wake City-County Bureau of Identification

DR. DEBORAH RADISCH—Chief medical examiner for the North Carolina Office of the Chief Medical Examiner

JENNIFER REMY—Hair and fiber analyst for the North Carolina State Crime Lab

DETECTIVE AMANDA SALMON—Investigator with the Raleigh Police Department

JOHN SARGEANT—Laura Ackerson’s custody attorney

JUDGE DONALD STEPHENS—Presided over both Grant Hayes’s and Amanda Hayes’s trials in the superior court of Wake County, North Carolina

DR. PAUL STIMSON—Forensic odontologist in Houston, Texas

SERGEANT DANA SUGGS—Assisted with logistics of the investigation for Raleigh Police Department

AGENT TIMOTHY SUGGS—Forensic chemist with the North Carolina State Bureau of Investigation

DETECTIVE BRAD WICHARD—Investigator with the Fort Bend County Sheriff’s Office

BOZ ZELLINGER—Assistant district attorney in Wake County, North Carolina

CHAPTER ONE

OYSTER Creek leaped to the earth’s surface in Fort Bend County, Texas, just north of the historic town of Richmond, about a half hour southwest of downtown Houston. Paralleling the Brazos River, it meandered through lush, semitropical countryside on its way to the Gulf of Mexico. Along the 4300 block of Skinner Lane, unruly brush and tall grasses crowded around as if trying to hide the creek from strangers’ eyes. At one spot, a football field–size patch of lily pads consumed its whole width. Oyster shells littered its banks, hobby fishermen harvested its bounty and alligators patrolled its length for prey.

In July 2011, in the Pecan Grove community, another deadly creature desecrated its waters.

On Sunday afternoon, July 24, 2011, detectives searching for a missing North Carolina woman made a gruesome discovery tangled up in the weeds growing by the edge of the creek: a piece of armless female torso, severed at the neck and just above the hip area. By four o’clock, they’d found the rest of the torso. They strongly suspected that they’d found the body of the woman whom they were seeking, but without a head or hands, identification would depend on the slow, methodical process of DNA testing.

The next morning, just after nine, dive experts from the Richmond Fire Department and the Houston Police Department arrived at the scene. The near-100-degree sun beat down on their heads and stabbed into their backs with the single-minded intensity of a carrion crow. Humidity soared over 90 percent, adding to the oppressive atmosphere. Even the temperature of the water was 89 degrees. The smell of decomposition filled their lungs as they stood on the bank assessing the situation to help them define their target area.

Two divers, Brian Davis and Mark Thorsen of the Houston Police Department, plunged into the hot, dark, murky creek. They started their search at the boat secured to the bank. The tender stood still, holding a line connected to a diver, who traveled out in 180-degree arcs. Each time the man in the water completed a run, the man on the bank fed out more line, which slightly extended the distance from the bank and allowed the diver to traverse a wider semicircle. When searching for something large—like a car—the line feeds out fast; but today, as they were hunting for body parts, the process was far more deliberate, methodical and slow. Visibility was nonexistent, forcing the divers to feel blindly with their hands in the black water and to depend as much on luck as on skill in their search for more body parts.

Since the detectives were aware that the missing woman had a tattoo on her foot, they focused first on finding that, since it could be an easy and quick identifier. Since the foot has less muscular tissue than other body parts, it would not float to the surface readily, so they performed an underwater scuba search for one hundred feet in every direction. Sinking to the bottom, the divers made snow angels in the mud, seeking foreign objects on the riverbed—all to no avail.

The lily pads were a major nuisance, covering 50 to 60 percent of the surface of the designated search area. It was impossible to take a boat through them, and every time the divers pushed them out of the way, the current pushed them back. It was a constant struggle.

Noticing a spot of sheen on the surface of the water, an indicator of decomposition, divers Davis and Thorsen scooped up a sample and returned to shore. Cadaver-dog handlers presented it to their canines, who hit on the scent, indicating the presence of human remains and sending the divers back to that spot to continue their task. Near the area of the sheen, the smell of decomposition was strong. Searching on the surface, Davis spotted a suspicious object tangled among the roots of the lily pads. Pulling it upward, he saw a smooth, hairless bone in the middle of a dark mass. At first he thought he’d found a femur bone, and he called Thorsen over to help with the recovery. However, when they rolled it over, a face was revealed, and Davis realized what he had seen was actually the back of a skull. The water had held the skin and muscle in place, but when they pulled the head to the surface, it started sliding off the bone.

The two men placed a ribbon on the surface where they found the skull and made measurements of its location from two stationary objects. After shooting photos of the area of their find, they wrapped the head in a sheet and carried it to the bank.

The smell of decomposition was still strong at the spot of sheen, prompting the two divers to return to the water and continue searching. Fifteen to twenty feet deeper into the mass of lilies, they found a portion of a leg. Both of the parts they located that day were on the outer edges of the hot zone. Altogether, over two days, 60 percent of a body had been recovered and delivered to the Galveston County Medical Examiner’s Office.

On Tuesday, the dive team returned, expanding the target area farther but finding nothing more. Nonetheless, they had all that was needed to make identification. The detectives had found the missing woman from Kinston, North Carolina, nearly thirteen hundred miles away, in Oyster Creek in Texas: twenty-seven-year-old businesswoman and mother of two Laura Jean Ackerson.

CHAPTER TWO

LAURA Jean Ackerson was born on April 30, 1984, to Rodger and Brenda Ackerson in Hastings, Michigan, the only city in rural Barry County in the southwest corner of the state. There were six other children in the family, including her father’s son, Jason, who was three years older than Laura.

When Laura was a toddler, Rodger and Brenda separated. The battle of unsubstantiated allegations and contentious finger-pointing that lead to the divorce inflicted emotional scars on everyone, fracturing family relationships and leaving the children with conflicting loyalties. In Laura, the long-term emotional damage was apparent even after she reached adulthood.

In 1996, Laura and her mother moved to Iowa. Laura attended Lynnville-Sully High School in the tiny town of Sully and graduated in 2003 (a year later than she should have, due to the many disruptions in her home life).

Her half brother, Jason, left Michigan for North Carolina when he turned twenty-two, though he and Laura continued to keep in touch by phone a couple of times a month. Not long after Jason got a place in Youngsville, a half-hour drive northeast of Raleigh, Laura headed south to join him. Dead-end jobs, worse relationship choices, and frustrations with her home life had left Laura yearning for a new start. Although Youngsville was located in the prosperous and thriving Research Triangle area of North Carolina, it was still a small, rural town with a population under twelve hundred. It certainly wasn’t a hotbed of employment opportunities, nor was it full of the entertainments and activities a twenty-year-old woman would crave. Laura lived there with her brother for six months before setting out for the brighter life of the far more cosmopolitan city of Raleigh to find a job and a place of her own.

In 2004, Laura started working for an Applebee’s restaurant in Raleigh. She had the right stuff to be a good waitress: a cheerful, perky personality and girl-next-door good looks with an engaging smile and shoulder-length brown hair. There she met coworker Heidi Schumacher, a bright young woman with an equally sweet smile and longer hair that she sometimes wore up. The two women hit it off right away. After a short while, they both moved on to new jobs, initially together at the Front Row Sports Bar, though Heidi soon moved on to pursue an insurance career.

Laura had started taking online classes at Kirkwood Community College while living with her brother, and after earning her associate of arts degree from Kirkwood in 2005, she thought about a career in real estate, and took a seventy-five-hour prelicensing course at JY Monk Real Estate School that same year. Her natural talents and interests were stimulated, however, by two classes she took at the community college, one in graphic design and the other in marketing. She decided to focus on developing her graphic-arts skills and obtaining the necessary marketing acumen needed to start her own business. In her spare time, by using the Internet, the library and networking, Laura built on her academic introduction, absorbing all the knowledge she could to pave the path for her future. And to pay the bills in the meantime, she also worked for Bassett Furniture Direct in Raleigh doing retail sales and helping customers with decorating solutions.

Even though they were on different trajectories, the two friends continued to stay in contact through regular e-mail, live chat and phone calls along with occasional face-to-face meetings. From time to time, Heidi had Laura over to her parents’ house in Wake Forest, situated between Raleigh and Youngsville. Before long, Laura was like a part of their family. It filled a void in her life since, except for her brother Jason, the rest of her relatives were in the Midwest.

In mid-April 2007, Laura called Jason bubbling over with excitement because of the new romance in her life. She told him about Grant Hayes, a great new guy she was seeing. Jason hoped that his little sister was embarking on a good relationship but knew the odds weren’t in her favor. Her fractured family life and rocky high school experience had left her naïve, immature and vulnerable.

At the end of that month, Heidi returned from nearly two months of insurance training in Chicago. Laura greeted her friend with the news that she had a big surprise. When they got together at an Italian restaurant to celebrate Laura’s twenty-third birthday on April 30, Heidi could see immediately that her friend was very excited. It went far beyond her regular perkiness; Laura seemed to hum and vibrate with high emotion.

Laura quickly blurted out: “I got married! Surprise!” She explained that she and Grant had exchanged vows in front of the justice of the peace in Raleigh earlier that very day.

Heidi was knocked off balance over the news—she didn’t know Grant Hayes, and this all seemed so sudden, nearly surreal. She covered her shock with a smile and said, “Well, awesome.”

It turned out that Grant, Laura’s new husband, was a musician, who’d be performing at the restaurant that same night. Laura introduced Heidi to him out in the parking lot. Grant gave Heidi a hug, and she returned it while assessing the shorter, African-American man with a shaved head standing in front of her. Heidi thought that he looked familiar, but it took her a moment to realize that he was the same musician who’d been playing at the Blue Martini Bar and Lounge on South Wilmington Street, where she and Laura had gone together right before Heidi left for Chicago. She knew that Laura had spoken to Grant on his break between sets that night, but had no idea that there had been any further contact between the two of them.

She wasn’t impressed; in fact, she was certain Laura could do better. But while her misgivings were immediate, Heidi sincerely hoped that they were groundless and that her friend’s newfound happiness would never end.

GRANT Ruffin Hayes III was born to Patsy and Grant Hayes Junior on April 30, 1979. He grew up with one sister, Grantina, whom everyone called Tina. According to his mother, Grant was a “sweet child—he was very docile.” In high school, she said, her son was so charming “that all the girls liked him.” Being able to play guitar added to his popularity, and even while still a teenager, he was good enough to perform on the Raleigh nightclub scene.

When he was eighteen, he married a ballerina named Emily Lubbers and moved down to Greenville, North Carolina. Grant said that she and her dancing were the inspiration for many of the songs he wrote. Emily attended school at East Carolina University and worked a job to support the couple. Grant was frustrated in his attempts to secure work that suited him. And that was a sticking point: Grant always seemed to think he was too good for any of the jobs he was qualified to get.

The relationship dissolved rather quickly. As it disintegrated, Grant fell into a deep funk and sought psychiatric treatment. He was prescribed medications for depression and bipolar disorder, including lithium. Then he moved back to Raleigh.

According to a close friend, the religious instruction Grant had received growing up remained apparent in his life. He regularly attended church, made prayer an essential part of every day and studied the Bible faithfully until 2003. But then, the friend said, Grant turned his religious fervor over to Tupac Shakur’s music, learning all the lyrics of Tupac songs just as he once learned Bible verses. Grant began to spend most of his time talking to others by relating tales from the life of Tupac.

Soon after, he started drinking, smoking marijuana and experimenting with cocaine and heroin. Through this period, Grant still worked hard, made money, took his medication as prescribed, and seemingly maintained control over his mental illness. But after someone gave him 2C-E, a synthetic hallucinogen, Grant couldn’t get enough of it. He was hooked on the intense visual hallucinations that many users said were more vivid than those experienced under the influence of LSD. Although the effects of each dose only lasted for six to ten hours, the drug tended to alter perception throughout the next day.

Grant snorted it regularly and, within weeks, his friend said, Grant was no longer capable of having a “normal, business-style conversation.” He was consumed by delusions of grandeur and often made no sense at all. “It seemed he’d started a habit of believing the first thing that popped into his head. He’d continue trains of thought to nowhere and then start a new one in a split second. He had lost something—something in his mind. A part of him wasn’t there anymore,” his friend said.

ONE night in late 2006, as he performed at a venue, a twenty-two-year-old woman, Laura Ackerson, caught his eye. She attended a few more of his shows and once brought Heidi with her to a performance before her friend went out of town. Right after that, Grant and Laura started dating. Laura was taken by the fact that she and Grant shared a birthday—it made their coming together seem like fate.

It was on their next birthday, April 30, 2007, that they exchanged vows before a justice of the peace. Laura turned twenty-three that day, Grant twenty-eight.

CHAPTER THREE

LAURA strongly believed in Grant’s musical talent and thought that with a little help he could hone it into a remarkably successful music career. She actively marketed him to various venues and lined up bookings through Rare Breed Entertainment Agency, whose only client appeared to be Grant. She also encouraged him to keep working on the development of his natural artistic talent.

Grant, however, behaved like a man who wanted more than a supportive partner; he acted as if he wanted someone he could control at all times and in every way. In no time, Grant had taken charge of Laura’s life. It was too easy for him to dominate and manipulate the younger, naïve woman with low self-esteem. He attempted to establish control over all her activities and associations.

The honeymoon was over. Among his more outrageous requests, he asked her to talk to his fans about their sex life and brag about his penis size. When she objected and was horrified at that prospect, he said he didn’t understand why she had a problem with it. He said that it was obvious to everyone that she was “trash” because she was a white girl in a relationship with a black man.

Grant shocked Laura in a different way one evening a few weeks later at Jack Astor’s Bar and Grill in Cary. Another musician rebuked him for arriving late for a gig and Grant pulled a knife on him. He told Laura he was justified because the guy had used the word “fuck” when talking to him.

Laura experienced other incidents that caused her to be fearful for her personal safety. From time to time, Grant slipped into what he described as his “blackouts” or “lost time.” In the midst of those disengagements from reality, he acted odd and violent, and then he would fall suddenly into a restless sleep for many hours, twitching throughout as if he were engaged in an unceasing nightmare.

On one particularly bad occasion, Grant, fueled by cocaine, wrote a nonsensical autobiography that he posted on Myspace. After finishing that task, he pulled out an air pump BB gun and began shooting at Laura. The pings weren’t causing any serious physical harm, but they were very painful.

She pleaded with him to stop but he just kept pulling the trigger and staring at her with empty, hawklike eyes as if she were prey waiting to be torn asunder. She held up a kitchen towel to block some of the BBs as she made her escape from the room. Laura was never certain if these episodes were all drug-induced or not.

He attempted to indoctrinate her in some of his peculiar beliefs. He told her he believed he was a “time traveler” and that “beings” from other planets followed him around and often talked to him. He thought that those same beings ran the United States. Not only did he believe a government collapse was imminent, he said, “The world will end on December 31, 2012,” and he needed “to get enough cash to make it on one of those alien ships at the end of the planet.” He believed that very rich, famous, necessary individuals would either be in an underground system of tunnels or on the ships while Armageddon raged across the earth. It sounded as if he had read a piece of Scientology literature and appropriated bits and pieces for his own personal religious doctrine.

Laura would have liked to have believed it was one big joke, but Grant seemed dead serious about his delusional belief structure. The more she learned about these ideas, the more disturbing it was to her. But she had grown more under his control once she was pregnant with his child. No matter how crazy he acted, no matter how nutty his beliefs sounded, he was the father of the baby she carried and she was totally dependent on him now. She had entered the relationship without a strong sense of self and Grant eroded what little she did have. She was stranded in a volatile relationship with none of the needed self-confidence to strike out on her own.

A few months after their wedding, Grant had also asked Laura to be in a polygamous relationship with him. When she refused, he went outside of the marriage and hooked up with a girl named Kristen that December, a mere seven months after his matrimonial ceremony with Laura.

Laura learned about the woman’s existence when she was in the second trimester of her pregnancy. The grin on Grant’s face while he talked to Kristen on the phone with Laura was in the same room made it seem as if he was delighted to keep Laura’s insecurity at the highest level possible. Knowing she could hear him, he asked Kristen to marry and run off with him. When Grant hung up from the call, Laura confronted him. He justified his behavior by pointing to her polygamy refusal. He then added that he wanted to have sex with Kristen because she had a “large butt.” Although Grant obviously needed the company of adoring females, it seemed as if he had no respect for any woman.

Grant certainly didn’t have any for Laura’s close friend Heidi Schumacher—in fact, he despised her. He told Laura what he thought of that woman and insisted that she cut off contact with her, but the two women kept communicating despite Grant’s disapproval. When he was at a band meeting, prepping for a show or performing, they’d get together somewhere for a cup of coffee or dinner.

Despite those efforts with Heidi, however, Laura would later admit, “I allowed myself to be alienated from my friends and family. Everyone I knew was either ‘really dumb’ or ‘too fat’ or ‘not good enough to be around us,’ according to Grant.”

In her third trimester, Laura was once on the phone with Heidi, who could hear Grant yelling in the background, “Heidi is a bad influence on you! I forbid you from seeing her ever again.”

When Laura tried to hang up the phone, Heidi begged, “Please don’t, Laura.”

“I have to,” Laura said between sobs, and disconnected the call.

Worried about what might be happening at her friend’s home, Heidi immediately hopped into her car and drove twenty minutes to check on Laura. As she arrived, Heidi saw a big black sedan pulling away with Grant in the passenger seat.

Laura opened the front door as Heidi approached. Laura was sobbing, her nose was bleeding and Heidi thought it appeared to be broken. One of Laura’s eyes was swollen nearly shut, and the area around it was deep red. Heidi was certain that Laura would have a black eye by the next morning if not sooner. It didn’t take a detective to reach the conclusion that Grant had physically assaulted Laura.

She suggested that the police should be called, but Laura said, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m not going to do anything. I’m not going to press charges.”

“Laura, you need to go to the hospital. You’re pregnant. You need to go to the hospital to make sure everything is all right.”

“No, no, no. It’s okay. We’re going to get through this. He’s never done this before but it’s okay.” Laura was shaking all over and crying, as she pleaded with Heidi, “Please. I don’t want anybody to know.”

“Just come out to my car and I’ll drive you to the hospital,” Heidi said.

Laura continued in her stubborn refusal. Heidi stayed with her for an hour and a half trying to break down her friend’s resistance to seeking medical treatment but to no avail. She finally left after Laura’s tears dried and she had calmed down. When Heidi saw her again a couple of days later, it was clear that Laura had tried to cover up her injuries with makeup, but the swelling and dark coloration were still quite obvious.

Laura’s first child, Grant Ruffin Hayes IV, was born on May 2, 2008. Heidi visited Laura’s home as soon as she returned from the hospital. With the birth of their grandson, Grant’s parents completely embraced Laura as a member of the family. They often chided Grant to be as supportive of his wife as she was of him. Laura probably would have done well to rely on them a bit more, but she showed no inclination to turn to them about any of the problems she was having with Grant.

By the time little Grant was two months old, another conflict erupted—this time over immunizations for the baby. Grant said his son would absolutely not get shots. He repeatedly told Laura that the chances of an African-American boy getting autism were far greater than the rest of the population. Laura was in turmoil over the issue. She wanted the protection from childhood diseases for little Grant but she was afraid that her husband might be right. Again, this was a battle Grant won.

LAURA’S brother Jason met Grant Hayes for the first time when his nephew was about six months old. They had dinner together and hung out for a while, and Jason left thinking that they’d had a good visit.

Occasionally, after that evening, Jason would go with Laura to bars or clubs to see Grant perform. On one of his subsequent visits to their home, little Grant had been fussy for a while. Laura made sure he wasn’t hungry or in need of a clean diaper, so then left him upstairs to cry, believing the old wives’ tale that it would strengthen his lungs.

Grant grew progressively more agitated and angry as his infant son continued crying. He snapped at Laura, “Shut him up, whatever it takes.”

Jason coaxed Grant outside to remove him from the situation, and talked him down into a calmer state of mind. Soon Grant acknowledged he was being too emotional, and matters settled down.

Not long afterward, Grant, Laura and the baby moved over to an apartment in the Camden Crest complex in North Raleigh, located very close to Jason’s place of employment. He started coming to see his sister every week, either on his lunch break or when the work day was over. Usually when he arrived, Grant retreated to the back bedroom and never came out. The rare times he did emerge, it was only to go to the refrigerator and then back into hiding.

One day, Laura called Jason and asked if he could come and hang out at lunchtime. About an hour later, Jason arrived and knocked on the door. He could hear arguing and loud commands delivered by Grant to Laura. “He doesn’t need to come around. You don’t need to be hanging out with him. He’s a bad influence.”

While Grant yelled, baby Grant cried. Laura struggled to calm both of them down at once. And Grant continued ranting. “You don’t need him in your life. I’m all that you need.”

Jason stayed at the front door for about ten minutes, knocking again and again. He went around to the sliding glass door and tried to look inside. He couldn’t see anything, but by that time all was quiet.

Jason left, but he kept trying to phone his sister all day. She finally returned his call the next day and said, “In order for us to see each other, it has to be private, when Grant isn’t around. He doesn’t like you.”

Jason didn’t like the situation, but he realized as long as Laura was in this relationship, she needed contact with family more than ever. Thereafter, the siblings continued to meet in secret, either when Jason came to Laura or when Laura met him at his work.

Grant continued his attempts to cut Laura off from all family and friends, from anyone who would provide her with support—the pattern of controlling spouses who desire to isolate their partners in order to make them more dependent and therefore more compliant.

DESPITE his desire to have Laura at home alone, however, Grant didn’t seem to be capable of being alone himself. Whenever Laura left little Grant in his care for even the shortest amount of time, she always found other people with him when she returned. Even with his child present, Grant invited anyone and everyone into his home, from other musicians and groupies to pimps and drug dealers. Most worrisome to Laura was how Grant would pass little Grant around to total strangers. He even offered one convicted felon “godfather status” in order to solidify a business transaction.

One evening in the fall of 2008, Grant and Laura went out to dinner with their baby and eight of Grant’s friends. They sat outside at a table, but within the first thirty minutes, Grant disappeared inside the restaurant and stayed gone for quite some time.

One of his friends went in to see what was up and found Grant in the men’s room snorting and selling cocaine. When the friend returned to the table, he turned to Laura and said, “You should leave Grant and take your son.” Knowing that Grant was an avid believer that immunizations caused autism, the friend added, “Get your boy immunized. He’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

IN February 2009, Grant Hayes’s family staged what they called an “intervention” on Laura’s behalf at their house. With Grant’s mother, Patsy, and sister, Tina, gathered around, Grant’s father told Laura that his son had “a crazy world-takeover plan. He wants to have fifty kids with different women of all races in order to build his empire,” Grant Jr. said, adding that his son had told him he anticipated being about seventy years old before he achieved his goal. Her husband, they told her, believed this was the old way of building a business—like in the Bible.

Her father-in-law also warned Laura that Grant III “is the type of man who will pimp you if he needed to.”

Suddenly, she saw the truth behind one of her husband’s strange habits. He would always provide a “party favor” (aka a woman) to keep the host “company” at promotional parties for his new recordings or for a new artistic venture. Now she understood exactly what those phrases meant.

Her in-laws gave her the phone number for Grant’s first wife, Emily. Emily’s advice to Laura was: “Run—run as fast as you can.”

When Laura walked out of the Hayes’s home, she took little Grant and spent a couple of weeks with her friend Heidi Schumacher’s parents. When Laura returned to Kinston, Grant’s sister, Tina, took her to a magistrate to file assault charges against Grant. That same month, she contacted the Safe Alliance, an agency in Charlotte that ran a shelter for abused women and their children. She wanted to know if what she was experiencing was typical of abusive relationships. She wanted to know of any options she could use to correct the destructive path she traveled.

But Laura never followed through with any of it, fearing her little family would never recover—and she so yearned to provide her son with the cohesive, intact unit that she never had growing up.

She would come to deeply regret her naïveté at this point in her life.

CHAPTER FOUR

BY March 2009, life had grown ever scarier for Laura. Grant was spending more time with felons and drug abusers, and as a result his drinking and drug use escalated once again. One terrifying night, he ran into little Grant’s bedroom raging and swinging a baseball bat. He told Laura that “the aliens were fucking with him.” A hysterical, shrieking Laura threw herself between Grant and the baby to protect the little boy from his father. Then Grant rushed outside, still clutching the bat and running off crazed.

Throughout the chaos of Laura’s disintegrating home life, Heidi and Laura managed to maintain their friendship, getting together as frequently as possible. One evening in late March, they were standing out in the parking lot of a Starbucks chatting when Grant pulled up and lit into Laura for continuing to see Heidi. Then he directed his comments to both women: “I am powerful enough and I have enough friends that I could have you both killed and no one will know what happened to you. So don’t fuck with me.”

Soon after that incident, Heidi obtained a concealed-carry permit. She wanted Laura to carry a gun, too, but Laura was very uncomfortable with firearms and wouldn’t have one. Instead, Heidi bought her friend a knife with a rosewood handle, which Laura carried with her until she died.

Around that same time, when little Grant was still less than a year old, Laura found him sitting with his father watching a movie while a very explicit and realistic rape scene filled the screen. Laura was appalled and wanted to take her son out of the room. Grant refused to let him go and told her that little Grant was his son and her opinion was irrelevant. He knew what was best for his boy.

Shortly after those experiences, Laura suggested a temporary separation to Grant, saying she could go to her brother’s house for a while. Grant went ballistic. “If you go stay with your brother, I will hunt you down, or my goon squad will hunt you down, and kill you. And Jason, too.”

Nonetheless, Laura did broach the subject with her brother. After talking it over, however, they decided it was too much risk to Jason’s young daughter, who lived with him part-time. Neither one of them wanted to put yet another person in danger.

After that, Jason stopped calling his sister so as not to further strain her relationship with Grant. He just waited for her to call him. They still talked every month, but now it had the undertones of an espionage assignation.

AS time went by, Grant Hayes grew more frustrated with his trajectory as a professional musician in Raleigh. Some nights he played open-mike gigs, performing for hours for tips and coming home with no money after he paid his bar tab. He felt he needed a new audience to revitalize his foundering career.

He’d been playing on the college circuit with other performers but had been pushed out of that group. He later claimed that the reason for his ejection was that someone was trying to kill him because of his knowledge of or involvement in a murder. He expressed a desire to escape the heat to an acquaintance in the United States Virgin Islands, Joseph “Jose” Hardin, a music promoter/agent in St. John.

Jose thought Grant was a charismatic and creative musician who knew how to play a crowd. He smiled at individuals as he performed and had been described as a male Sade. Jose believed that getting an act like Grant’s to St. John would be a real coup. He assured Grant that he could line up five to six gigs a week for him. On top of that, Jose said, “It’s awesome here. No stress. No worries.”

The smallest of the three main Caribbean islands—St. Thomas, St. John and St. Croix—that make up the USVI, St. John encompasses only twenty square miles and about 60 percent of that is under the purview of the US National Park Service. After a flight to Charlotte Amalie on the island of St. Thomas, reaching its smaller sister is easy on the Red Hook ferry. A fifteen-minute boat ride travels through breathtaking tiny cays, some lush and green, others covered with rocks, cactus and stunted trees.

St. John remained a lush and unspoiled paradise with pristine beaches and magnificent vistas around every corner. Any snapshot of Trunk Bay, with its underwater snorkeling trail, would strike most Americans as a familiar sight.

Grant thought about it and decided his folk-reggae music style would likely be popular in the islands—and it would be a way to get back at the guys who’d rejected him and prove himself. Little Grant was still small when Grant left him and Laura behind in Kinston while he went down to test the waters. In no time, he renamed himself Grant Haze and established a devoted following. Within one month, he had a girlfriend on St. John.

Jose knew Grant had what it took as a performer but he was further impressed by the extent of Grant’s artistic abilities—“all he needed was a piece of paper and a pencil.” Grant knew, too, how to capitalize on it. Every month, he came up with a new awesome business idea.

One successful plan was his souvenir T-shirts. Grant printed artwork he’d created on the shirts, then added the words “St. John, USVI” and they sold like crazy. Then, Jose said, Grant “manipulated other people to sell them for him, too,” creating another stream of revenue as well as an effective promotional tool.

A crazier plan cooked up by Grant involved getting an elephant to give rides to tourists. Mark Gierth, a friend of Grant’s on St. John who joined him in “chasing girls and imbibing pot and cocaine,” said that he told Grant: “There are no elephants in the Caribbean; there must be a reason for that.”

Still, Grant was enchanted with the idea until Mark reminded him, “Elephants poop—and it has to go somewhere. Do you want to shovel it?”

Mark said he often felt bad for Grant, who always seemed “two steps behind the guy who got the prize.” For instance, Grant would become all teary-eyed when listening to “One Believer” by John Campbell. The song told the story of a man who dreamed of having his name in lights and prayed for someone who believed in him and opened the right door. Grant saw himself as that man—a lonely outcast whose career hadn’t gone the way he wanted it to go. Grant grew bitter when talking about the success of others; it “made his heart race and his face change.”

But according to Mark, Grant “was always a little short of what he needed,” even though “he was always striving for success.” Jose, on the other hand, came to believe that Grant’s real problem was that he was very lazy and would back away from any real work.

Grant, however, could be very charming—so charming, Jose said, that “I knew he was manipulating me. . . . He’d say, ‘I need you—only you can do this—you are special—you are awesome’ . . . and I’d fall for it again and again.”

WHILE Grant was in the islands, Laura told Heidi she wanted to leave him. She and little Grant again moved in with Heidi’s parents. Heidi had long been dismayed by Grant’s controlling behavior and was quick with encouragement and an offer to help in any way she could.

Laura decided she wanted to take her son and stay up in Michigan with her father, Rodger Ackerson. Together, the two friends planned Laura’s road trip, including an overnight stay at Heidi’s grandparents’ place in Ohio.

But just before it was time for Laura and little Grant to head north, Laura started feeling ill. Heidi took her to Planned Parenthood in Wake Forest, and Laura discovered that she was twelve weeks pregnant with a second child.

Laura shifted gears and decided not to leave Grant after all. Instead, she decided that she was going to tell him about their new baby and move down to the Virgin Islands to be with him, and to give their relationship one more chance.

Before leaving for the Caribbean, Laura told her brother Jason that she knew that Grant had begun another relationship on the island, but she added that he’d promised to stop seeing that woman immediately.

Their second son was born two months premature on St. Thomas on August 3, 2009. They named him Gentle Reign. Grant explained the name in a promotional interview for his website with Los Angeles publicist Hollace Dowdy. “In my maturity, I’m understanding what masculinity is. And it’s gentle.”

Not only did that line contradict his behavior, the interview was filled with information about an idyllic childhood complete with a gospel-music-star mother and a father who was a minister in a big Los Angeles church. It was all in direct contrast with previous statements he’d made onstage about abuse and alcoholism in his family life. Listening to Grant, it was impossible to know where truth ended and fantasy began.

UNFORTUNATELY, blissful island life on St. John did not seem to be in the cards for Laura Ackerson. She had to care for two little guys under the age of two, and the youngest one had been born with a serious health problem involving his kidney.

Mark Gierth, who lived with the couple on St. John for a while, said that Laura and Grant Hayes had frequent verbal squabbles, often over money issues and child care. Now that Laura was the mother of two, she wanted more financial stability and grew frustrated that Grant was hanging on to an empty dream. She still believed in Grant’s talent but he wasn’t making headway toward turning it into a reliable source of income. She wanted him to come back to reality and accept financial and emotional responsibility for their two children.

Even though Grant tried to hide it, Laura also knew that he was seeing another woman, but she didn’t know if it was the same one he’d promised to give up when she came to the islands or if it was another woman altogether. She simply knew there was someone else, and she felt him slipping away. Grant blew off her concerns, telling her that it was part of his job to make women want to have sex with him so that he could pass them to the guys who tagged along as his unofficial entourage. He said that was why he was treated like a celebrity and why everyone wanted to pay for his expenses, from limos to dinners to clothing.

To make matters worse, Grant partied all the time, developed a heavy cocaine habit, and showed no signs of awareness or concern about any of Laura’s needs. His daily drug and alcohol use made him incapable of caring for the children. That left all of the childhood duties and household tasks in Laura’s hands—with one exception: he still managed to take out the trash. Typically, he was up most of the night, then slept into the afternoon. When he rose, he’d occasionally make a needed grocery store run. Then he’d eat dinner and go out to work and the pattern started again.

Whenever Grant was out doing drugs, he always told Laura he was with Jose, because Laura knew that Jose didn’t like blow and wouldn’t be around others who were using it. Many times, to reinforce his stories, Grant would trap Jose in a corner, pushing for confirmation, until Jose felt he had no choice but to lie for him.

The more Jose viewed Grant up close, the more troubled he became. He noticed that Grant’s lyrics all seemed angry, filled with words like “rage” and “hate.” He talked a lot onstage about his childhood with an alcoholic father who went to prison and beat him and his mother when he was at home. Jose wasn’t sure if it was all an act or if there were truth in the dark story.

Grant told Jose that he was scared of black women because of past trauma and so was always with white women because he couldn’t stand to look at a black woman’s private parts. Jose never knew what to believe. He winced when he heard Grant threaten Laura and threaten to kill or take the children away from her. Jose saw Laura as a loving, caring woman who was supportive of Grant’s career and put up with a lot of BS in the process.

Jose recognized that Grant’s worldview was excessively self-absorbed. “He was in his own little world—it belonged to him. Everyone else who was there existed for his use.”

Often, Grant brought other people home with him, and woke Laura at two thirty or three in the morning. One night, he opened his computer and started composing music and woke up the whole household. Laura was sweet to everyone but her irritation at Grant rose off her like steam from a boiling kettle. Still, she settled the boys back in bed and then asked if anyone was hungry. Of course, they all were. She fixed food and went back to bed, still obviously mad. Jose felt sorry for her but felt helpless in the shadow of Grant’s overpowering, intolerant personality.

Jose came to view Grant as a perfect psychopath who lied and used people without mercy. He believed that Grant had a delusional personality and blamed others for his failures and essentially was a coward and lazy about real work. He saw that Grant could recognize and zero in on people who were caring, who would listen to his tales of woe and help him.

Gentle’s physical problems became frightening—he needed special health care, including a surgical procedure to put a stent between his bladder and kidney. So Laura left Grant on St. John and moved back to North Carolina with her sons. She moved into a rental property in Kinston owned by Grant’s parents that was located next door to their day care center. In exchange for her housing, she cleaned the center each night. Near the end of the year, to make additional money for expenses, Laura started a freelance business called GoFish Graphic Designs, creating logos, layouts and print publications for other businesses.

THOUGH a great distance now separated them, Grant and Laura kept in close touch. He told her about a woman named Amanda who was feeding him and doing his laundry in exchange for guitar lessons. Grant described her as an investor who wanted to back his career.

When Grant met country music star Kenny Chesney on the island, he told Laura that Kenny had a huge crush on Amanda. “Maybe I should just pimp her—nah, I won’t.” Despite that denial, he detailed how if Kenny was in Amanda’s pocket and Amanda was in Grant’s, then “I’m as good as famous.”

Most helpful customer reviews

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Another excellent Diane Fanning book
By Lee Husemann
What a great read this was! Such a tragic child custody case that ended up so horribly wrong. When I saw the list of characters at the beginning, I thought it was going to be very complicated book to follow, but it was not. Ms. Fanning obviously spent an enormous amount of time researching this book and she presented it in an easy to follow fashion. I especially liked the way the court proceedings were presented - in a story fashion rather than a court transcript fashion. I highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys true crime.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
This is one of those true crime books that is ...
By DocRoss
This is one of those true crime books that is interesting at first, but quickly becomes repetitive. Before the half-way point, the author starts simply recounting trial testimonies of those involved. I lost interest and skimmed through the last 60% of this book.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Great read...
By joyce lyons
Sad but true...the story bogs down one they go to trial but at least justice is served.
Saw this story on Snapped and didn't make the connection at first, but then it call came back to me.
Hard to believe it's true....

See all 93 customer reviews...

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